Instagram Journals
9th June, 2015

Instagram Journals: Omey (Part 1)

Those were the best times: when Omey had 72 followers on Instagram and followed 44 friends. Her posts often received 12 likes and 2 - 4 comments; and on days when she hashtagged, she had about 100% more.

She envied her friends who had more followers. One was Olivia who had close to 12000 followers and followed about 650 people. Olivia's posts, with good timing, often scored her an average of 300 likes and around 8 - 12 comments. Her wall was just beautiful - absolutely flawless. There were no hashtags and she never replied comments. "Olivia is just grand like a sensei." Omey must have imagined.

Now, Omey went to buy more followers; she managed to rack up 1000 people more and thought she had purchased some little satisfaction. "At least my posts should get an average of 50 - 75 likes," she must have fantasized, "and maybe 18 or more comments."

It turned out Omey had flirted a lot with the thoughts of a flawless (no hashtags) and very liked post. So on her first post from after adding 1000 followers, Omey put up a picture of herself having a decent meal in a posh restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. She added no hashtags nor description. However, after checking and refreshing her Instagram incessantly, Omey had only seen 8 likes come through.

Now everyone knows that the first 1 hour after a putting up a post is usually the best active part; but in this case, Omey had waited four long hours and only received 12 likes and no comments since. That must have really hurt her feelings a lot; notwithstanding, she marveled at friends like Olivia endlessly.

Instagram Journals: Omey (Part 2)

Olivia is 5'7" tall if she was bald and wore no shoes. But that would never happen. Her fringed 24" Silky sheen black Peruvian hair extensions didn't give anyone any chance as she always stood her size 8 frame on 6" stiletto heels. I imagined her face would be reminiscent of a painter's canvas plain board if you saw her in the morning - maybe always in a luxury Italian yatch floating like swans on chilly ponds of reserved national parks in Aberdeen. She loves her face masks along with freshly sliced and refrigerated cucumbers from M&S in UK high streets. Maybe after, she would pace about in a 70s vintage shades, cashmere robe made of Kashmir goats found in Kashmir mountains in Asia whilst her hair is bound in white fluffy towels such found in hotels like the Burj Al Arab in Abu Dabhi, Dubai. Olivia has the body most French bikini suit labels would deem fit for crystal waters and fine-sanded shores of the Maldives, Southwest of Sri Lanka. She would remind you of how Andrea Bocelli controls his orchestra the way she lords over and manipulates her array of designer cosmetics.

At least that's what you would think judging from the pictures she puts up on Instagram. But in reality, Olivia is actually smart, hardworking and funny when you meet her. Though she strikes you first like she was a 'Made In Chelsea' girl who lived all her life in Southeast London; but really, Olivia is just an average Lagos girl who lives with her middle class mother in Ikotun Egbe in Nigeria - 2 streets away from where Omey, her friend of 4 months, lived. However, unknown to Omey, Olivia is a veteran instagramer; and if you know anyone who goes by such, you can easily tell they have two distinct and disconnected lives: like a pair of insatiable and unidentical twin toddlers - both in looks and character.

Now, it is a very demanding task to feed a very fictitious persona; and when the reward for maintaining such is determined and demonstrated by the number of doubletaps obtained from people you don't know: and would most likely never meet, then no other life can be more conceited. Olivia, in all honesty, is a pretty girl. But because she's used to being wooed by fellow good looking random instagramers, it wasn't feasible for her to love anyone around her. So far, no one living nearby could fit the average Instagram repertoire; and though in actual fact Olivia was born for selfies, no guy around has ever met her plastic standards; therefore, Olivia resulted to online dating. She initially started off with local sites like Alarena (former Legwork), Naijamatch and Metrodate before moving on to POF, Afrointroductions, Twoo, Tinder and Evow because they were international and mostly offered free memberships. She's been dating an Australian guy, Bret, she'd met on POF almost a year ago who lives in Canada but are yet to meet each other in person. It is obvious that this is not a sustainable relationship most especially when Bret has been made to believe Olivia lived in Saint Lucia, Part of the Lesser Antilles located north/northeast of the island of Saint Vincent, northwest of Barbados and south of Martinique: Olivia often details this good.

So back to the point - I'm of the belief that some girls post on Instagram so as to rev and bask in compliments that pour in while others would rather prefer they found someone they loved where all the compliments will flood from. Or whatever the reason Olivia loves Instagram for, it appears to be the sole reason why she is frustrated by it. Despite all her concerted efforts to wield about 12000 followers to her profile, she never gets the number of Likes and comments she'd always expected: maybe because Tamara, Olivia's friend, who has about 7360 followers often got an average of 1200 Likes and 112 comments on her flawless (no hashtags) posts whilst Olivia hardly had up to 700 likes on her best ones. Secondly, Bret, who is a very good looking 39 years old guy (15 years older than Olivia) and appears to be in touch with his anima, uses a Blackberry Z10. If we know what a Blackberry Z10 looks like, we would understand why he couldn't possibly be on Instagram with it; and due to his age, couldn't even be bothered to be on one.

Olivia, has two insatiable lives and they lust after Omey's seeming peace and Tamara's Instagram attention respectively. One part envied how Omey don't have to deal with charging her phone nor walking about with strings of chargers and spare battery power packs everywhere she went. She also don't have to be distracted by the flood of online messages from dating websites nor result to a telephone relationship with someone thousand of miles away because she's got someone who she loves and loves her in return too. "Omey must be having it really good!" I'm sure Olivia imagined endlessly. Equally, her other part secretly rivalled Tamara's perceived idol status.

Croydon, United Kingdom
  • Envying someone who secretly admires you

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