3rd July, 2015
"Don't walk that way, for Christ sakes, no you can't go out to play, because its too risky for you, go wash plate in the kitchen" Mummies words to me while yet a little girl. You are all grown up now my little princess" she said... "don't mix with the wrong crowd, Infact focus on your studies, time would come for other pleasures" even though I had no idea when this time would come to be, I obeyed mummy and lived my life from school, to the house. She said "don't let any guy deceive you, the right man will come, you have to keep yourself, ready for him" she would not relent about my finding the right man, said it was the ultimate for a lady and so because I trusted mummy, I obeyed her.... I got 'ready' for this "ultimate" guy, and I met him....my "ultimate" was achieved and mummy was happy and said she could finally be at peace "bringing up a girl is tough, but my dear princess made my work alot easier' I heard her say to her friend, with so much pride in her voice, on one of the days preceding my wedding..... What mummy failed to tell me was that I should also learn to be independent, wise, creative, strong, fearless and as much as I prepared myself, I should also seek out for one who has prepared himself, 'in this I now know lies the "ultimate" Had mummy told me this, I think I would know how to better handle this battering, late drunk nights and assaults form this "ultimate" guy that gave mummy 'peace' while giving me heart ache and so because all I can do is endure and tell no one of my shame, I smile always, I do not cry because mummy said crying isn't 'lady like' so I sleep and wake with my pillow drenched but from what....i can not say.....