I just got my one way ticket to Calabar, my flight is by 9:30am tomorrow. I am done packing my box and everything seems set but it doesn't feel right. I feel a new fear envelope me and I know why, it's definitely not because I know this is the end of us but because I wonder what or who you would replace me with. I close my eyes and try to imagine what she would look like, her skin colour, hair colour, shape and colour of her eyes,contour of her nose, fullness of her lips, size of her waist, thickness of her thighs, width of her hips and butt size. I wonder how beautiful her mental capacity would be, that's your favourite thing in a woman and i fear that she would make you happier than I ever could. I wonder if you would make her take the behavioural study test and I fear that she would pass and be compatible with you, I wonder what her skin would feel like against yours and I fear that it would slowly erase memories of our naked conversations, I wonder if your friends would make findings about her and I fear that they would find no reasonable dirt on her, I wonder how perfect she would be and I fear she would be beyond your wildest dreams. I fear that she would replace me but I fear more if your work replaces me because then I become dead to you and memories of me would seem as if they never were. I regret that I didn't let us bask in our perfect bliss of love and lust, our ying yang of stupidity. Don't get me wrong, I delight in what ever makes you happy, I just wish I was what made you happy.