28th March, 2016

No one understands betrayal & distrust from you better than I

When I roar, because I love you, my heart sinks in an empty heaven space

I trusted you not just as a friend but as a Lover, who I’d be much more comfortable with; more than the hard male counterparts I’ll never understand, ‘cos you’re my ma

Now you held me high, took me places I would not think of going to, led me to the paths of the stairs, to hitch for you, the pile of money

Letting me get bitter from bites, bites from snakes and stings from scorpions; tripping me off my foot and stance

Scared I might never get back up; I call for you, you far away into the valley, digging to find a treasure of your own

I thought I was treasure; maybe you’d remember times with me in the womb, or how lovely I looked when I was out

Intellectually I might be high, but no upgrade would stop making me your baby at 50

Oh, what could compensate your sweet touches; touches of fire slicing open my back with a tap?

I call and get the reply of a stranger on the other end. I want to live

I’m no freak of a child without feelings

Make me see who you are, cold as ice I have become, fear-full that this ice might never defrost

Perhaps you’ll come to understand when I am opened up, and my hard heart is in your hands, probably when I die.


Lagos, Nigeria
  • Ever since Ma went away.......

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